The Infallibly Polite Speaking Alarm Clock

Alarm clocks have employed just about everything to get you off the bed and on your feet.  From the traditional bell alarms, there have also been digital sounds aiming to wake you, and even an alarm clock equipped with a sonic boom sound to literally shock you into waking.  No matter how these alarm clocks sound, they all have one thing in common:  all of them sound so annoying you would be forced to wake yourself up.

But some alarm clocks work completely different, like this Infallibly Polite Speaking Alarm Clock from Hammacher Schlemmer.  Instead of employing loud and banging sounds, you are being awakened by witty remarks from Reginald Jeeves, a popular character in P.G. Wodehouse’s novels who serves as your personal valet.  Voiced by British comedian Stephen Fry, this alarm clock contains 130 wake-up massages, including a 90-second call to sleep so you could end your days just as delightful as you have begun.

Some of the messages you would wake up to include the following:

Your horoscope is promising very considerable profit and equal quantities of pleasure. The world merely requires your presence for the process to begin.

It appears to be morning. Very inconvenient, I agree. I believe it is the rotation of the Earth that is to blame, Sir.


The world has been very anxious to hear from you for the last eight hours. Shall I inform the news agencies you’re about to rise, Sir?

Designed like a mini Gothic clock, with wooden finish and Roman numerals printed on the clock face, this polite alarm clock provides a splash of Old World to your room.  And with such polite remarks that could put a smile to your face, it is definitely a refreshing way to meet the glorious day.

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